October 24

Dress for Marriage Success. Play up Your Feminine Nature.

Dress for Marriage Success. Play up Your Feminine Nature. After World War II, there was an imbalance in the male/female population ratio that left single women fearing for their futures.   Good Housekeeping magazine warned that 1 in 7 of them would be forced to live alone her entire life.   And  women’s magazines began flooding the newsstands with advice about how a girl could reinvent herself to attract a husband. Coronet Magazine (1953), quotes:

The smart woman will keep herself feminine. It is her duty to herself to be desirable at all times to the opposite sex.

And what followed was a period of time where, in my opinion, women exhibited some of the most amazingly beautiful, sexy, and feminine fashions and appearances of all time.

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Femininity has an enormous appeal to men.  It is in stark contrast to the big, strong, masculine nature they try to project.   Standing beside a soft, sweet, delicate-looking woman only makes their masculinity more apparent.   So, if they love it so much, why would women want to only play up their feminine nature when seeking a mate?  Why would we not wish to please our mates long after our wedding day has past?

A few days ago I talked about how throwing away our scales could ultimately save our marriages.   In the scale of importance,  if maintaining our proper weight would be considered  “important”, embracing our femininity would be considered “non-negotiable”.    Here’s why.

First, when we take care to accentuate the differences between our feminine self and our manly husband, two things happen.  First, we feel beautiful.   Let me ask you how many times a day you feel beautiful when wearing your stained yoga pants and frumpy t-shirt?  Not many, right?   How often do you feel beautiful when you wear a pretty, feminine top; fix your hair, throw on some make up and a pretty pair of earrings?   Much better, right?  And when you feel pretty, how do you act?  And when you act more confident and desirable, how does your husband act?  Right.  That brings us to number 2.   When we accentuate the difference between our feminine self and our husbands masculine self, this causes him to feel more manly and that is one of the best feelings a man can feel.  And you do that to him.   And he knows it.  You make him feel like more of a man when he’s with you.

You make him want to take care of you.   You make him want to do things for you because, surely, you are too delicate to do them for yourself.  You make him want to be your man.

So how do we maintain this standard on a day-to-day basis?   No, you don’t have to look like Marilyn Monroe or a fashion model every day.  And you don’t have to be uncomfortable.   If you follow some basic rules of fashion and appearance, it should become effortless.

Rule #1, think like a man.   Men would never wear anything fluffy, lacy, flowery, ornate, brightly colored (usually), or delicate.   Therefore, those are the things you would wear.    Think like a man then do the opposite.  Your job is to put as much distance between men’s and women’s fashions as possible.    So when you shop:

1.  Avoid heavy, manly materials like men’s suit materials, rough or hard finished woolens or denim (except for a great pair of fitting jeans).   Think: soft cottons, silk, cashmere, soft woolens, floral prints, polka dots, animal prints, chiffon, lace, velvet, satin, faux fur, angora, and organdie.   When you hold up a garment, if it looks like something a man might wear, put it back on the rack.

2.  Colors.  Choose pastels, soft colors, and bright colors.   Reserve black, grey, brown, and charcoals for accent pieces.  Never do entire outfits in black except for a little black dress and pair that with a brightly colored or printed sweater or jacket.    The other exception to this rule is an outfit that might be black or drab colored but is in a highly feminine cut or style or has feminine trim to offset the man factor.

3. Style.  Obviously not every style looks good on every woman.  But.  We can strive to insure that what we are wearing is something a woman would wear but never a man.   Cut offs are a no no.  Buy or sew shorts or capris that are more flattering.   Jeans are okay only if you pair them with a feminine top and shoes.

dungareesTry to include as many skirts and dresses as you can.  Nothing will make you feel more feminine faster.   Look to old photos for inspiration.
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Don’t, however, sacrifice comfort.  One of the common misconceptions about the 50s housewife is that she always wore uncomfortable pumps.  Not true.  Women were not idiots.   Look at the shoes on this woman.

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They were pretty, coordinated, and comfortable.   You be comfortable too.  It’s easier to feel more ladylike when we aren’t tempted to lash out at the nearest person because our feet are killing us.

4.  Accessorize.   Jewelry, makeup, scarves, hats, gloves, purses, flowers, ribbons, lace.   Use them.  They’re fun and womanly.  Have fun with them.   I am always pleasantly surprised when I wear a fashionable hat and my husband responds with a smile and a comment such as, “Look at you in your cutsie hat!  I love it.”  And then I catch him smiling and stealing glimpses at me as we are out and about.

Lastly.  5.  Underclothes.   Sometimes mundane undergarments are necessary.  But whenever possible, wear pretty underclothes (but for health reasons, always choose ones with proper white cotton panty liners stitched in.)  Just trust me on this one.  Ditch the granny panties and invest in some pretty, or if you dare, sexy underclothes.  Then watch what happens, both with your attitude and your husband’s.  Oh, and be sure to casually dress and undress in front of him.  (Don’t make it obvious that you are doing so.)

Ahhhh but, fashion is only one part of the equation.  In my next post we will talk about maintaining a feminine manner, which is equally important.    In the meantime, don’t forget to like our Facebook page.  And also, check out our other marriage and relationship articles.