Unabashedly Authentic You, Housewife

Unabashedly Authentic You, Housewife

 

Because I’ve gotten active on this blog again, I’ve been getting lots of emails and messages from ladies, young and old, thanking me for doing what we do at The Modern Day 50s Housewife. I wanted to take a minute to thank all of you, too. You support me as much as I support you. This morning I wanted to be clear on something, though. I’m not here as an anti-feminist (although I feel that way at times and certainly come across that way at times.) No, that’s not my mission. I believe I am here to make sure that you feel free to be unabashedly authentic you, housewife.

My original intent with this blog page hasn’t changed. My purpose here hasn’t changed. I’m here to remind you all that choosing the life of a stay-at-home mom and wife is beautiful, honorable, and perfectly acceptable. I believe from the bottom of my soul that if more women had the opportunity and fortitude and grit to do what you do, then the world would settle back down a bit. It’s gotten completely out of control.

With all the advances in society, we lost something in the past fifty years. We gained a lot, for sure, but we lost a lot of the closeness between people and families that, I believe, are the bones that society is built on.

What will become of the next generation if we can’t salvage family traditions, and family values, and a sense of community? What will become of the world if we don’t teach our children about and protect our right to be who we each feel born to be–without filters!  These kids are growing up in a world of mass opinion, unrealistic expectations, and make-believe realities created by social media filtering, and it’s frightening.

Your job is, in my opinion, one of the most important on the planet. You are there creating close bonds with your children where they can feel safe to be their authentic self in a world that is pushing them to be otherwise. You are supporting your husband and lifting him up in a world that wants to tear him down, and you are being the foundation upon which they all build. You are keeping it real.

And you are more than that!

What else do you do besides cook and clean and do laundry? I often see that you create small business opportunities, from home, supporting the economies of our households and your country. You volunteer, supporting others very selflessly. You become ambassadors of causes you feel strongly about, supporting the world. You do whatever your soul calls you to do.

You are important. And you are beautiful. As long as you, too, are authentic to you, and it’s that very thing that I wanted to stress this morning.

Please remember this. My page is here to support you in whatever you decide is right for you. You may lean far to the side of housewife. You may yearn for the kids to get a bit older so you can go back to your career. Or you may be something in between. I don’t care what you do, as long as it is authentic to you.  There is no “perfect” housewife.  Perfect is only you being perfectly you.

I, myself, am at a point where I do a lot outside of my home now that my children are all grown, and I love it! My heart is always at home, and my family is always my priority, but I have a couple of different home-based businesses that I enjoy immensely. That’s authentic to me. Now understand that I’d drop them like a hot potato if one of my family became ill or incapacitated in some way so that I could care for them, but for right here right now, those outside activities are a big part of my life.  And that’s okay.

I also have three daughters, one of which is a very vocal feminist–almost to a local celebrity status. I purchased a “Feminist” bracelet for her for Christmas. It literally says Feminist. And she loves it. And I support her in that because it’s what is authentic to her, right now. (She swings from one end of the spectrum to the other.)

I don’t ever want you to feel afraid to express yourself here from wherever you stand within the spectrum. I write to the entire world of housewives, and I support that there are a wide variety of levels of what that means. You’re all perfectly perfect in my book.

Besides, it’s those differences that make us powerful.  We are an army, and within each army there are different roles and positions to fill.  We need you all just as you are in this apron revolution!  So let’s do this!  Let’s go disagree on how to clean the dickens out of something!  <wink>  Speaking of which, … it’s bedroom day.  Did you change the sheets and start the washing yet?



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16 Comments

  1. Such a genuinely written piece! I recently had a friend say to me “but your sacrificing yourself by staying at home!” And I said, “Sacrifice? This is the happiest I’ve ever been. Taking care of my home and family is the most fulfilling job I’ve ever had!” She was speachless. I’ve often been told I’m a “throwback”. Certainly not because of how I look, but because of my views and my role in my family and home. Let me tell you, it makes me proud. I wouldn’t change it for the world!

  2. Thank you for this. Ever since I was very young all I wanted was a family to care for. As I grew older – and went to high school- I was asked what I wanted to be when I grow up. I said “a stay at home mom”. To which the response was “Is that it?”. Its nice to know I’m not the only one.

  3. For a long time I have felt that family or feminism has nothing to do with working outside the home or being a stay at home wife, but with the mobility of families. Growing up we lived next door to may aunt, uncle, and cousins, two more uncles and family lived a few miles away, another aunt across town was also one of our cafeteria ladies, cousins were always in my schools, my sister and her husband purchased my parents” home, one set of grandparents lived about 2 hours away and another maybe a half-hour away. At church probably a quarter of the choir was related,, etc. It didn’t matter if your mother worked or not as you were surrounded by family. Even when there was a death the burial took place in one of maybe three cemeteries that had family sections. No more. My parents retired down south, as did one of my sisters. My brother moved around with his job. Now that they are dying they are buried all over…There isn’t even a nearby cemetery to visit. I have never met any of my great or great-great nieces and nephews and have cousins I don’t even know exist.

  4. This is refreshing. I am glad that you remind women that they are special and their choice in life is their own. We are a society bashed for anything that is not politically correct. When did it go from being personal to political I don’t know. I am a stay at home mom and love all the memories of my children’s lives. And 1 day (in the end), that is all I will have to comfort me as I wait on the Lord to call me home.

  5. I love this. Thank you for providing a forum in which women who share similar views can come together and feel supported, a space where we feel a sense of belonging. In a world that can make us feel archaic, and obsolete this is a place of acceptance. Don’t get me wrong, I have a great structure of friends and family who support my decisions in life, they know how we live as a couple, and what it means to me to be a wife and mother. They accept it, I’m just not sure they understand why I chose this particular path. In a world that makes me feel like a a round peg in a square hole, this is a safe place in which I feel like I’m not the odd man out.

  6. Its about choice, isn’t it. Generations of women fought so that we aren’t pigeonholed, so that we have the right to chose. To my mind, many of the current crop of “feminists” have become little more than just another group trying to dictate what is right and what is wrong. The ironic thing is, women have for centuries combined many roles and did it well despite whatever prejudices were the norm at the time. Nowadays we should have come far enough that we don’t have to apologise for those choices and supporting each other in them. I also work from home after spending my children’s growing up years working outside the home. I wish the technology that enables me to do that now existed back then. But it didn’t and they still grew up to be wonderful people, now with families of their own. Stone the crows, but I find a session of scrubbing, baking or digging in the garden wonderfully therapeutic. So there!

  7. Thank you so much for your positive voice. There are women in my life who communicate that what I am doing isn’t as worthy as what they are doing. I am not using my degree or contributing to an industry but I am contributing to society by raising well adjusted, responsible, kind children. So glad I stumbled upon your website!

  8. There was a group of us, both male and female, having this same conversation last evening. I’m very much a live and let live kind of person but I did comment that in today’s world a woman is almost expected to hang her head in shame if she cooks a meal for her husband. I also noted that I don’t quite understand why everyone keeps trying to tell us were not equal to men because frankly I feel that I am very much my husband’s equal; we just have different roles within our family that support each other’s. Of course this brought on the jokes that clearly my husband wasn’t doing his job properly if I felt his equal, they were kidding of course! He’s very open about how much he values me and everything I do for our family. When I was younger and before I had a child I worked hard at forging my path in life, climbing the corporate ladder, increasing the size of my paycheck so I completely understand women who also want this. My priorities have changed now and I’m happy to take on the same role my Mum did, simplify my life and just ‘be’. My only hope for all women is that they find what makes them happy and go for it with everything they’ve got regardless of what ‘that’is. BTW, thanks for coming back, I missed your posts!

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